COVID has brought some rough times
On top of all the regular pains the world has gone through since March when the world went on lockdown, COVID life hasn’t been the easiest. I thought I’d sprinkle this with all good, positive vibes but I couldn’t. I’d be lying.
My plate has been ful. Since March, the stuffing, the roast, the mashed potatoes kept on getting piled on before I was even able to grab a fork. Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of ice cream and chocolate cake in the mix but the meat never seemed to stop.
This is where I needed to take a step back, reaxmine, acknowledge and make a move on how I can handle everything without getting greatly overwhelmed.
I took action
It was hard not being able to leave my apartment to get away – something that I would’ve done regularly in the `old world’. So I needed to bring the outside in. I used what I had and made that my escape.
I was getting amped for my virtual walk in May. I was already upping my exercise routine. I decided to take it more seriously and went all out. I bought protein shakes to help the cause, and created a schedule that I had to stick to.
COVID helped me find balance
I’ve never been a gym guy but I always appreciated working out for the mental stimulation and how it grounds me spiritually. So this was weird as I wasn’t really working out to be one with myself. I was working out to work out and get in (better) shape. While the process was to be fit enough for my walk I also used it as a way to escape and find inner peace.
The regimen was also to find balance – You’ll notice that everything I chose, I chose for a reason.But back to what I was saying.
My workouts I chose to do daily have helped me find balance in my life. It has brought a lot of it to my mental well being. It helps being cooped up in a room able to yell and swear and be all sweaty and dirty.
Trading the weights for the canvas
I needed to also feed my creative side. I took a much needed vacation from producing my podcast on a regular basis. I set out only to create a few during my hiatus. This is when Rinse was created. But beside my work on the microphone, I had to stimulate my creativity. I chose to pick up the canvas once again. It had been years since I painted as my carpeted apartment wasn’t allowing it.
I made my man-cave in the garage and got to work. As I said earlier – everything I chose to do was for a reason. The reason for me to paint was really to help me know when to stop.
Knowing when to walk away
Dad calls it having a big-eye. I just don’t know when to stop. To use a painting analogy, I would have the most perfect piece painted. Perfectly done that I’m super happy with. But I feel I need to add an extra drip or dot or colour. It’s never enough for me. So I add that one last detail and somehow, someway, I ruin it and I’m back with a blank canvas.
Being able to be content with what I have in life without looking for more. It’s still a work in progress but I’m getting better at being happy with what’s in front of me, walking away without making any alterations to things, thinking I’ll make them better.
Being in the moment during COVID lockdown
Art has also helped me be in the moment. To be honest, working out and painting and meditation have helped me do this. It was a huge thing that I have been trying to work on for a while and part of the reason why I decided to go back to therapy.
Especially at the time of isolation, when the fries and meat were continuing to be stacked up on my plate, my head was consistently going elsewhere. Trying to deal with everything at once and always missing out what was there in the present.
I felt guilty because they were others trying to reach out and others that I was trying to be there for but I was never 100% there. I’m working on this. I know it’s a huge fault in me and in the midst of everything, I’m sure things would be different if I were more present to details and moments.
Moment(s) of namaste
I’ve already mentioned I’ve taken up mediation. It’s not till now, in 2020 that I truly understand the impact mediation – when done correctly and for the right reason – can have one someone’s soul. I’ve hit that spiritual orgasim a few times and I needed to come out of the still-state to appreciate how I found THAT peace. And that piece of inner-knowledge that I am searching for. Again, I took it up to be more present with my thoughts and the now. I hit that orgasimic state, and it felt wonderful.
COVID is still here, still working on it
As we continue to roll through the longest year ever in existence I’m continuing to escape my comfort zone. Trying things that a) I haven’t done in a long while (painting, mediation) or b) have never tried at all. I’m open to suggestions for that one.
I understand that I’m not everyone and many people have had it worse than I did and I’m grateful that I was able to have the needed resources at my disposal to make this longest year ever a livable one.
The food is still getting piled up and I’m still munching down like a mad man every day. However, I’m much better off at the bar than when I arrived in March. Better section, better table, better selection on tap.
I won’t say that I would ever want to relive the past few months over again, because who would? But I would say that I would relive the past few months over again to notice the growth I’m continuing to make every day.Where to find Shower for the Soul