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It took me years to realize that I was going to the bar every night with my depression – my pals were just tagging along.

My depression and I were the best (and worst) drinking mates

Today is a pretty momentous occasion. I was finally able to put in words how I felt when I went to bars for seven years.It took me that long but I’ve been able to form it into a sentence. Here it is:

I was going to the bar every night with my depression – my pals were just tagging along.

From 2010 to 2017-ish, I was drinking with the worst company. At the time, I thought I was going out with my friends, but not so. I was really going out with my depression.

While I would spend most of my time with my mates, by 10pm, way before I planned on leaving the pub, I was  having a heart to heart with my depression. And by heart to heart, I mean I was in the corner of the pub crying, ignoring my friends and ready to down three more shots before last call just because the chat I was having with my depression was just too painful.

My depression called me to go out.

It was the one that said I needed to stay longer.

Depression was the one that picked up the tab.

And most importantly, my depression was the one that came home with me from the bar.

Took me a while to stop hanging out with my depression

I thought our weekly date nights ended after getting help, but they didn’t. During this whole time hanging with the bad influence, my friends were always there. Don’t know why exactly but they were still there.

See, while hanging out with my depression, my friends were there to pick up the pieces. But this became a regular thing. I don’t know how they continued to support me during this time as I thought I was just a downer hanging with my depression.

When I noticed how much they cared for me and how much they wanted me to ghost my depression I tired. It wasn’t until I got  some great counselling, I  knew it was time to break free for good.

Finally free from Depression, the Debbie downer date

I can’t lie, I still get depressed. It’s a thing that I now know how to handle and I now know will be there for the rest of my life, most likely. But now when I go out, I am actually going out with friends. I’m in a much better company now. Mind you, my depression still goes to the same pub but instead of sitting with us, it is sitting in the corner, giving me a flirty eye thinking I’d be enticed by its offering of free drinks and great conversation.

There’s treatment for this

The romantic relationship between booze and depression can both be harrowing predicaments. For a person suffering from both conditions, like me, life can be troubling. But since I wasn’t the only one going through this – having weekly date nights with depression – many addiction treatment centres are clinically prepared to treat both disorders at the same time.

If you or someone you love is suffering from alcohol abuse and depression, you can reach out to someone. Here’s a list of those willing to help

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